Fratricide
by Raven Shinobi
Summary: A tear rolled down his cheek, “I should’ve just let him kill me back in Proto Merkabah, so I won’t witness the day that I killed him with my own hands and watched him die before my eyes.”


**Disclaimer: Xenosaga is The property of Monolith Soft and Bandai-Namco**

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**Fratricide

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Inert Blue eyes watched as the rays of the red setting sun that filtered through the glass crept on its surroundings, gradually painting everything with its fiery hue. The rubicund-haired viewer propped his foot up on the wooden bench that he was sitting on, and rested his chin on his arms folded on his knee, recalling how the surreal sight before him had always captivated the three of them back in their now gone carefree days. How they liked to hang at this time of the day under the crystalline dome in the vast gardens of the Institute... passing time with whatever topic that could be brought up until the light that was engulfing them dimmed like a dying candle flame on a pool of melted wax... until it was extinguished by the overwhelming darkness of the dusk that was soon illuminated by the scattered lamps on the sides of the walkway and the released environmental bugs that begin to roam the vicinity.

He wondered as he puffed out his bottom lip as who should be blamed of depriving them of those days...

Their father who raised them only to be sacrificed like goats on a ritual altar for motives he doubted to be of mere altruism like the devious old bastard had claimed yesterday?

Joachim Mizrahi for resorting to the maddening song that served as the prelude to the war that they all had been dragged into; that brainwashed the realians into hostility that led them to attacking anything that moved like rabid hell hounds out for blood?

Or could it be U-DO; the root that instigated the countermeasures of the aforementioned mad men?

Or was it actually _him--_the one who deliberately broke the link, fully aware of the chaos that will sequentially ensue?

"_Rubedo! Don't let go of my hand. RUBEDOOO!"_

His eyes simultaneously shut as his forehead slid down to his knee, his head hanging down in shame as his younger brother's plea echoed in his head like the maddening cantus of the Song of Nephilim. A horrified shudder quaked his being from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes as his body perfectly remembered the feel of the firm, imploring tugging on his hand. The picture of Albedo's trembling, terrified face, punctuated with the ripples of trepidation in his squinted reddened eyes and the tears that kept washing down his cheeks until it damped the collar of his uniform was so imprinted in his memory like carved letters in a grave stone that no amount of forgetfulness could erase off of it.

"So, here where you've been all along!"

Jr.'s eyes fluttered open as his lamenting musing was interrupted by that warm, concerned voice, and lifted his head off his knee to meet Shion's figure that was kneeling before him. He inquired, more rhetorically than being interested, "What's up?"

"HQ called." Shion stood up, "Allen and I will be leaving tonight."

Jr. smirked, "I hope it's not about you guys hijacking that E.S.!"

"Who knows?" Shion shrugged as she moved over to sit beside him, trying arduously not to let the anxiety that was eating her from the inside to show on her face. If her superiors were really intending to give her the boot, where on earth would she be able to find a decent job with what Jr. had just mentioned written in red, bold letters in her records? Hyams was an option that she seriously was contemplating back when she took the liberty to dive into KOS-MOS's encephalon to make a backup copy of their encounter with the gnosis in the Woglinde when they got framed. But now, being aware of their possible connection to what happened in Miltia…

"If worse comes to worst, you're welcome to join us in the foundation!" Jr. offerred, and rubbed the nape of his neck in embarrassment as he added, "Considering our strong relations with Vector, we can't let you into the Durandal, but I'm sure with your qualifications we'll be able to find you a job in a snap elsewhere!"

"Thanks!"

Jr. felt a blush creeping onto his cheeks as Shion flashed him a sweet, appreciative smile that made his skin tingle as she placed her hand on his.

"What are your next plans?", She inquired as she retracted her hand and pressed them against the edge of her seat, "are you going to track down the original Zohar?"

"Probably!" He cleared his throat and shrugged off his sudden state of awkwardness, "depends on whatever Representative Helmer has in mind."

Shion turned her gaze towards the sun that now touched the line of the horizon, stating as she propped her elbows on her thighs and cupped her cheeks "I wonder what that colossus entity that sucked in the Zohar was? Was it really a gnosis as the radars indicated? I had no idea that there could be a gnosis even bigger than Cathedral Ship!"

"Beats me!" Jr. shrugged as he replied listlessly. He didn't think much about it, since his mind had been occupied with the heaviness of the sin that he had committed. No matter what horrible things Albedo had done, his brother was still a victim of unfortunate circumstances. He was supposed to reach out to Albedo and pull his soul out of the madness that U-DO drowned him in, not falling to his provocations and answering to them with an aim at his forehead!

Shion stared at his depressed profile, the corner of her mouth curling in indecisiveness as whether it was appropriate to discuss the matter with him or not. She finally cast her sight downwards as she broached carefully, "you can vent to me about what happened between you two in the space-time anomaly. I promise I'll try my best to alleviate it."

"This isn't some boo-boo that you can make go away by blowing on it and kissing it, Shion!" Jr. retorted, trying to keep his tone even. He next proclaimed, his throat suffocated with the tears that threatened to fall off his eyes, "I killed him, I succumbed to the Red Dragon that was roaring inside of me to let him at U-DO's minion!"

His nails dug into his palms as he resumed heatedly, "my God-damned hands are forever stained with the blood of my own brother! It was actually my fault to begin with when I broke the spiritual link. Albedo had every right to blame me and seek vengeance on me all those years!"

A tear rolled down his cheek "I should've just let him kill me back in Proto Merkabah, so I won't witness the day that I killed him with my own hands and watched him die before my eyes!"

"Don't say such things!" Shion rebuked as she placed her hand on his shoulder and shook it twice to emphasize on her reasoning, "you were merely a child fourteen years ago; your tiny shoulders were placed with more than it could carry. You did all you were able to do--what a child could do!"

"Even knowng that, I deep down just can't come to forgive myself!" Jr. retorted throatily, not meeting her eyes.

Shion frowned in empathy; it was just like with her yesterday when Jin tried to comfort and reason with her when she was crying her eyes out for going along with the only available option to free Cecily and Cathe from the shackles of the Zohar and for the resurface of the odious memory when she abandoned Feb when she needed her by her side the most. But just like the young man before her: she was merely a helpless child back then; running away was the only thing that she could do in that horrific moment to block her sight off the unbearable atrocities that she wasn't able to stop... but even being aware of that, she also couldn't come to forgive herself!

"So, basically you're saying that even repentance and the limitations of your mortal body can't ever erase the sins that you've committed--that you see that self-loathing is your only way for atonement?" She sighed in grief, "That is so sad!"

Jr. smiled and looked up at her as he placed his hand on hers and squeezed it, "thanks anyway for trying to make me feel better!" And winked at her as he got up and stretched out his arms as he proclaimed, "you know, Shion? If I was a little taller and my voice a little raspier I would've loved to ask you out, but right now it's coffee and your choice of dessert on me!"

Shion blushed at that; she always seemed to forget that she was actually dealing with someone who despite his juvenile appearance was five years her senior. She quipped under her breath as she followed suit, "you get away with a lot of things around women choosing to remain in this size, mister!"


End file.
